Hero

It feels great rescuing people when they are in trouble. Even if, sometimes, it means taking the blame on yourself for what others did. But often, instead of becoming the hero, we become the bad-guy. Fingers are pointed at us and we are rebuked for things we did not do. Its hard, so we consider running away from it and telling the world that it wasn't us: that we were just covering up for them. But even though we want to, we don't because we feel that if we were to leave them like this now, why did we save their butts at all. So we stay quiet and bare it on our chests. Hell yes, it is difficult and it does suck being grilled for things you did not do. But sometimes, all it takes is a meaningful thank you, from the person you saved, to make taking all the criticism, feel worth it.

Endings...

Every story has got to have an ending. So we plan them ahead and then run them over and over a million times in our mind. We anticipate what’s going to happen, how people will react and what they’ll say. Then we decide what we'll say or how we’ll react. Maybe that we won’t get over excited and just smile instead or that we won’t cry and keep the people around us strong. But the thing about these plans is that they are just piece of imaginations. And we imagine them because, in our minds, we can make them as perfect as we want them to be. In real, however, these plans almost never work. Sometimes the timing is a mess; its all too quick and we can’t finish the line we practiced we'd say. Sometimes we anticipate the wrong reaction. And sometimes we don't even know ourselves. So we don't get our perfect endings and it sucks. But ultimately, we realize that the ending doesn't really matter. The rest of the story does.

Messy Times

There are times when we want to be alone, quite and just slow everything down 'cause everything is a mess. We walk quickly to avoid people from talking to us, look at our phones blankly and type randomly to make people think we are doing something really important because we cant show and tell everyone the way we are feeling. So we hide it. But there are people who get us. People who know how that something's up when we get lost in thoughts when other people are talking to us. People who can stare us in the eye and tell that we are faking a smile. So when they ask us to talk and tell them whats wrong, sometimes we burst out with anger. Because we are confused and scared and annoyed. We tell them that we are perfect, they should stop caring about us and mind their own business. And we tell them that all we want is to be alone.
But sometimes, in those times, one of these people sitting right beside us; poking us in the arm and asking us to tell whats wrong is exactly what we need.

No, I didn't get this chocolate for you. Its for me, Okay?

We need things, we want them. There are times we fight for them and there are times we don't. And even if we dont, we are all a little selfish. Sometimes because we don't want things for others that we do for ourselves. Sometimes we are selfish because we have to survive so we can't think about anyone else, because if we do, we'll just die. Sometimes, we keep things that we wouldnt if we were not afraid that other people might keep them and we are confused. And sometimes we are selfish because, for once, we want to be there for ourselves. And for all the times we've nodded with a smile on our face, when we are dying to shake our heads to a 'no', sometimes we deserve thinking about ourselves and saying no. Sometimes, we deserve being selfish.

Fear

We don't like being scared. And when someone asks us about our fears, we laugh and tell them we aren't scared of anything. Because we want them to know that we are brave. But we all are a little scared. Sometimes we are scared of what might happen in the future. Sometimes we are scared of the things we did in the past. And sometimes we are just scared of being scared. What we dont realize is that its okay to be scared. Being brave doesnt mean that we are not scared : It means that we are scared but we can face our fears. It means that we look it in the eye and be able to fight it. Being brave is looking down from a building for a acrophobic and stepping in water for a hydrophobic. So, fear isnt that bad at all. Sometimes fear is what we need: A little push that makes do things that we wouldn't do otherwise. And sometimes, fear can be awesome.

You've Changed

ABC: You've changed.
Me: What is it that has changed about me?
ABC: I think..umm *after a while* I don't know, you have just changed.
Me: Okaaay, so is it good or not?
ABC: Its sort of both.
Me: Right.
(An awkward silence ends the conversation)

Nobody wants to change who they are. We want to stay like we are, forever, because that is who we are. And then when someone comes up to us and says that "you've changed", we refuse and we try to show them that we are still the same.
But people come and go. They affect us and leave their marks all over us. Sometimes we get hit. We fall and we've to get back up on our feet. Sometimes we learn new things. They overwhelm the things we used to believe in. And we grow to become who we are now. We are so scared that we refuse and we try to tell everyone around us that we havent changed, just to make ourselves believe that. Because it hurts leaving things behind. And its hard adjusting our lives to what we have now. But we have to adapt to change and move on, because if dont, we will be left behind. And you know what? Change isnt that bad. And often -if you accept it- you'll find it to be one of the best thing that has ever happened to you in your life.

Letting Go

I remember the day very clearly. It was the junior-school-assembly day. The compere, singer and the quizzer for the day was yet to be choosen. I was roaming anxiously outside the teacher's office, waiting for her to call me and my classmate inside the office for the final audition. The teacher called our names and we entered the room. She asked us to sit in front of her and recite the script that she had asked us to learn. I was nervous. I recited what I remembered with a few mistakes. When I was finished, it was the girl's turn. I looked at her nervously and waited for her to recite the script. I wished for her to not be good but she recited the script with almost the same mistakes that I had made. As she finished, I looked up at the teacher for her to make the decision. She considered for a moment and then looked at me and said "I think you should do it".
Phew! What a relief!. The girl congratulated me with a smile on her face. Yes, it was a major relief and I was happy. I had got the parts I wanted and the glory was all mine.
But just a few days after this incident, I got to know exactly what she was feeling like when she congratulated me and the courage it had taken her to smile at me. It could feel it now. So I realized that sometimes, its good to give up on something you really want just to make others happy. Yes, it takes a lot of courage and maybe you'll miss the glory and the happiness for the time. But you'll probably end up earning an incredible friend. You'll feel happy and you wont regret giving it up because sometimes letting go of what or who you want for someone else IS the best thing todo.