Reason To Smile

Its around 3 AM on the clock and I am on my way to the airport. I am on the backseat with another person and alot of luggage. I am sleepy and tired. I hear the person sitting next to me call my name. I turn my head  to look at the person. The person says "thank you for it. I loved it" and hugs me. I am not tired or sleepy anymore. I am smiling now. I nod and tell the person that it was no problem. I feel happy now. I feel sort of proud.
The day before, I threw the person a surprise birthday party. It was a success, the person got surprised and everything was perfect. I had worked hard all day to get the whole thing right. Five minutes before the surprise was supposed to take place, I was so disappointed. I thought it was ruined. But it wasn't and everything turned out to be fine in the end. The next day, the person had to catch a flight and leave the country.

And so, at 3 AM, I am in the car to see off the person. I was tired but I feel glad now and the tiredness feels worth it. And it makes me think that sometimes making someone else happy makes you even happier than them. And all the problem you went in, for them, feels valued. Once in a while you should stop thinking about what you want and what makes you happy and try to find out what others want and what makes them happy. And sometimes, that alone can give you the joy you never thought of.

You Deserve It

I close my eyes and block out all the voices around me until they are nothing more than vague whispers and I ask God for what I want. "Please please please" I say silently and I wait for the miracle to happen. And when it does, it gives you happiness that is indefinable.
But once in a while you dont get what you want. And once in a while "the" thing is something you really really want. And thats when you get disappointed. Maybe you can hide it with your usual laugh, but its there and you ask God "why?".
You know, in your heart, the answer to the "why". You know you can't expect miracles to always be miracles. And you know that sometimes you've got to just accept what you deserve even if it might be the last thing you want. And sometimes you just have to be thankful for all the things that you DID get instead of crying over the things you didnt.

Its Twelve

Its strange how I longed for growing up. I would wait impatiently and count the minutes for the clock to strike twelve. The twelve of my birthday. My wait would end to start an amazing day when I would have a perfect day at school, when I would get home to get kisses and hugs from my family and finally a perfect cake to cut with my perfect family around me, clapping and singing. And I couldn't wait for another amazing year.

But year by year the definition of amazing just wasn't the same as it was the year before. Yes, there were more people wishing me a happy birthday but I think it was like something that you HAD to do just because Facebook said it was my birthday. And people who hadnt talked to me in ages would wish me. It had no meaning. The expectations that I had been led into having from all the amazing years now led to disappointments. And the growing-up that I had been longing for now made me wish I was a kid again so I could feel special atleast on the day that was supposed to be mine. And then finally the twelve was start of just another day. Tic. tic. tic.